Mar 11, 2010

Roadside Sobriety Tests: The Basics

Quick: recite the alphabet from the letter C to M. Don’t think about it, just do it.

Now, count backwards from 18 to 8.

Next, stand on one foot. Then, tilt your head back and hold your arms straight out to the side. Then take your fingers and touch your nose.

How did you do?

Many of you, probably out of habit, stampeded right over “M” and went straight on to “N.” A few of you might have gone further down then 8. And several of you probably had a hard time getting your fingers onto your nose without tilting a little bit.

This is enough to get you sent to jail.

When the police pull you over, whether it is for speeding or swerving or having a dead tail light, one of their first concerns is to determine if you have been drinking. This is especially a concern in Virginia, as the Commonwealth has initiated ridiculous new fines for drivers that make mistakes. These days, catching speeders and drunk drivers isn’t just a matter of public safety; it’s a money grab.

If the police suspect you of drinking and driving, you can expect to be asked to step out of the car, where you will be put through at least three of the following tests:

Alphabet Recitation: Most police officers won’t ask you to simply recite the alphabet from A to Z. Normally you will be asked to start at a random letter in the middle and then continue on to an equally random letter towards the end. What the police are listening for is either a slur on the soft consonant letters (C or S,) or they are listening for you to either get the order wrong or go too far. As mentioned above, having “M” as the stopping point is particularly effective because L, M, N and O are all soft letters. When we recite the alphabet, we routinely pronounce these four soft sounding letters as one word: “Elemenoh.” Making you stop in the middle of this group goes against years of memorization and instinct.

Counting Backwards: In this test, the officers are not just listening for you to get the numbers wrong. They are also listening for the telltale slur of the voice when you get to the sevens and sixes.

Line Walking: With this test, you are supposed to walk along the painted line on the side of the road. In the event that there isn’t one, you are expected to imagine one and walk along that. This can be an intimidating prospect, especially if you are pulled over on the side of a busy street. The officer is looking for you to swerve, stumble, or otherwise lose your balance, as alcohol has an adverse effect on equilibrium. Many people who have had nothing to drink at all have difficulty completing this test.

Finger to Nose: For this test, you will be asked to lean your head back, extend your arms all the way out to the side, and then bring your hands forward to touch your fingers to your nose. This is another scenario where the policeman is looking for you to lose your balance and swerve while you are standing there. They are also looking for you to either cheat and turn your head towards your finger or miss your nose entirely.

Heel to Toe: This is another balance trick that is supposed to help the officer detect a lack of equilibrium in the subject. The idea is that you are supposed to walk ten paces forward by placing one foot directly in front of the other in a “heel to toe” fashion. The problem with this test is that nobody ever walks that way. Your body is obviously not meant to move in such a contrary fashion. Anyone who tries to do the heel to toe walk has difficulties with is, whether they are sober or not.

Balancing on One Foot: This is another test used to spot flaws in the equilibrium. You will be made to lift one foot up and simply stand there.

Touch Each Finger to Your Thumb: Start with your index finger, then go to the middle, then the ring, then the pinky, then work your way back.

Hand Pat: Put your hands together, one on top of the other. When you are told to begin, you will rotate your top hand 180 degrees and pat the back of the top hand to the palm of the bottom hand while simultaneously counting out loud, "ONE." The top hand then rotates 180 degrees so the palm of the top hands pats the palm of the bottom hand simultaneously counting out loud, "TWO." The process then repeats. You will start slowly, and then gradually increase the speed until a relatively rapid pace is reached. This is obviously a test to determine your hand eye coordination and your ability to pay attention.

Nystagmus Test: The police officer will shine a light in your eyes and then ask you to follow the beam back and forth. If he notices what he sees to be telltale jerking of your eyes, he can assume that you have been drinking.

Here is a dirty little secret about these tests. They are designed to make you fail. You could walk a straight line while juggling and singing “Skip-to-the-Lou” for all the good that it will do you. As soon as the officer has pulled you out of the car, he’s already decided to arrest you. These tests exist so that the officer will be able to say “The subject failed the following sobriety tests when I pulled him over” in court.

Bob Battle: Going to Battle for Your Rights

Getting a DUI is a frightening experience with long lasting consequences. It could affect your career, your family, your finances, and just about every practical facet of your life.
Everything that people take as gospel when it comes to a DUI is actually very flimsy. Breathalyzers malfunction. These roadside tests have a rate of inaccuracy that would be unacceptable if they were applied anywhere else. If you have been arrested on a DUI charge, you should hire an attorney and NEVER GIVE UP.

Bob Battle has based his career on helping Virginians who have been arrested for DUI’s and other traffic violations receive fair treatment from our courts. He is an in-demand lecturer on Driver Impairment issues, and is renowned throughout the country for his expertise and successful work on behalf of his clients.

If you or a loved one has been arrested on a drunken driving charge, contact Bob Battle for a free legal consultation today.